So today mommy is taking over the reigns for just a moment in order to reflect on my second year of life, which is leading into the third on July 6, 2007. Strange how fast time flies by...

So, Logan you are almost two years old. This was a wonderful year. You have blossomed so incredibly much, and I am so proud of the little boy you are becoming. At the start of this year, you were not walking yet, or talking yet, or doing much of the things that you are doing today. At 13 months, you began to walk, and now, you are running. And most of the time, you are not running to me, but away from me, asserting your independence. My heart hurts a little, but it is good. You need to spread your wings, but please, don't spread them too far my sweet one.

You are now talking so much. Before, it was a little bit of mama and a little bit of dada, but now it's a whole lot of that, and a whole lot of hello, please and thanks, Pepper and Ginger, Get down!, Quiet Dog!, Whatcha doin'???, alright nah, alright nah... Wow, what a vocabulary you have established. You are learning more each day. You repeat a lot of the words I say. This is scary in some ways, as I have the worst road rage, and as I was screaming for the car in front of me to "GO! GO! GO! GO!" you repeated with all of your heart the same words. Thank God I wasn't cursing at that moment. Many mothers will say that there will come a time when I will want you to be quiet, but Logan, I do not want you to ever be quiet. I want you to talk and always talk to me, no matter what. Don't ever STOP talking to me. When you do, I'll know that something is wrong.

I know what you love so much too. I know you love to be outside. You love to look at animals, birds, cats, dogs, and fish. You love watching airplanes fly over head. You love being in the water, whether it is in the pool or in our bath tub, you love water. You are not scared, you will put your head under the water. You are brave and adventurous. You love to dance and sing. You love Elmo. You love daddy, Papa, Nana and Casey. But most of all, you love mama. You love the soft skin of my chest to rest against the soft skin of your cheek at night, so you can hear my heart beating softly beneath your face, and you fall asleep this way. Some people will say it is wrong to hold you until you are asleep, but there will be a day when I cannot do this anymore, and believe me when I say, I will always cherish these moments.

There is a journey that came to an end just recently, and that is our breastfeeding journey. I never thought I'd be "that" mom who was labeled and extended breastfeeder, but I was! You almost breastfed until you were two. It has been three weeks since we last nursed. I miss how easy it was to put you to sleep by nursing you, but I'm glad the journey is over. I know that I gave you the best start possible, and I continued to provide you comfort. It is because of this that you choose to rest, skin to skin, on my chest every night to get to sleep. You have traded nursing for something so much better in my mind, cuddling and sweetness. I love you.

I feel guilty too. I had to go back to work this year, shortly after you turned 18-months-old. I went back to work full-time, and nana takes good care of you while I am away, but I am so guilty. I get less than 3 hours a day with you during each week-day, and it is killing me. I can't take as many pictures, and I can't get as many hugs and kisses, and I miss you so much! I am missing major milestones here, and I can't stand it. How did daddy do that? I was so lucky to get the time I did with you. I hope you still love me as much.

And so, I think it is time for me to wrap this blog up. It's almost your birthday little Mangel, and remember, you will always be my Mangel. I love you so much my heart hurts. Keep thriving, keep being brave, and keep loving me the way you do.

Love,

Mommy